This little blog turns 5 today, which seems like both not enough years and too many. Below are a whole lot of words about those 5 years of existence, but they all boil down to this: Thanks. Thanks for visiting this little corner of the internet, for listening to and supporting those artists I love and believe in, for leaving a comment or liking a post or shooting me an email and, really, for being along for the journey to this point. It means more than I can really clearly articulate.
It’s nice to take stock of life when you hit certain milestones, and 5 years seems like a good time to take a look back at life and blog things. It seems like a lifetime ago, but I started this blog 5 years ago because I was, predictably, lonely in the suburbs of Chicago and in need of some sort of connection and creative outlet, and music seemed like the easiest way to find both fulfillment and ‘my people.’ And so I jumped into this whole blog thing headfirst, consuming music at an unholy pace and posting every day, trying (in cringe worthy fashion) to get back into writing again, something I had dreamed of doing when I was in high school but never had the patience to stick with. It all became an obsession, a way to keep my life in order. And, well, it didn’t take long to start meeting people, both online and in real life, who felt the same way about the music I loved and who, as it turned out, were good people, too. Sometimes the internet can connect people in a real way, you guys.
You know what happened next in my life if you’ve been around here at all and/or talked to me in the last few years, but the short version goes like this: my marriage fell apart and we divorced, I got depressed (note: sad songs sound GREAT when you are really sad, but, oddly, are not really all that good for you at that moment in time), I met a girl at a house show when some German friends from the internet came to stay and wanted to go on a crazy trip, I got laid off from a job I hated anyways, and so I moved out west to see about that girl from the house show and that love we were building (spoiler: we’re engaged, so that turned out real nice). The only constants through all that have been my family (duh), a couple old friends, music, this blog and the little community that’s popped up around it, and all those folks from the internet/blog who I’ve been lucky enough to have become good friends with.
The 75 songs below tell the story of the last 5 years, from the pain and loneliness that inhabited a couple of those years to the contentment, happiness and love that’s shown up since. These songs all mean something to me still, though in some cases they now mean something far different than they did when they first became significant to me. ‘Morning Thought’ was the first song I ever posted here, and I still think its a jam. But then there’s ‘Rivers and Roads,’ a song that I chased around in that former life I was living but now feels like an artifact, foreign and cold. There’s ‘Hopeful,’ the song that so perfectly captured my story and meant so much to me as my whole life burned around me, and now sounds so comforting in the way things do when you can look back and realize that the horrible thing that consumed you was the best possible thing for you. There’s ‘Hey Mami,’ the one I played so loudly in my lonely apartment that I’m surprised the neighbors never pounded on my door (and which I had forgot about the electricity of, and so I spent about an hour listening to it on repeat yesterday). And then there’s ‘Let It Breathe,’ a love song so perfect and real that it still stops me dead, a song that pretty well tells the story of what’s happened in the partnership I find myself in now. It’s all there in song, in this playlist, from the all the pain and darkness that inhabited a couple of these last years to the contentment and happiness I’ve found since, from the loneliness to the working hard to figure out who exactly I was to the being real lucky and finding a girl who loves me for who I am. These songs are my story, and that, friends, is why I love music. Thanks so much for listening and sharing and being there.